Our Life

Back from Camp

Yay! My oldest is back from camp. He has been gone for one week and I missed him terribly. None of my kids have been away from me for this long of a time and especially on their own. I was quite apprehensive about how he would be at camp on his own.

I have always been their for my kids – they have never been apart from me. I even get anxious when I let them have sleep overs at their grandmothers house. Yes, I’m that kind of parent. I am a bit over protective about them.

Well this camp was a big leap of trust and faith. I guess as parents we over think and analyze things when it comes to our kids. I am kind of happy that I took the leap and let him go. My eldest son is 11 years old and in 5th grade. This year is the last year in elementary school and this field trip is something that the kids look forward to as 5th graders.

Eshan was definitely tiered when he got off the bus but he came back with a wealth of information. He was full of stories and he went out of his comfort zone to experience new adventures. Eshan is not the adventure and outdoors loving kid. He is your typical gamer. He loves this PS4 and loves the online gaming world. He always complains when we go out to nature trails or stay out of the house longer than a few grocery runs.

So this child of mine went on to do things that I am quite astonished to hear and see in the pictures that the teachers and chaperons are posting on the facebook group. Eshan said he climbed 4 miles up the the hills and in the rain. He was muddy, wet and cold but he hiked all the way to the top. He said it was worth his the blisters on his feet and aching legs.

He also did archery, canoeing and horse back riding – just to name a few of the adventurous experiences. He even told us a tale of Devil’s Island and Hell’s Gate! Who is this kid?!

I was stressing that by baby wasn’t home especially with the corona virus at large – but this experience was really good for him. I was amazed to learn that he had to use his bare hands to get bark off of a juniper tree to make a fire!

I have never had an experience like this while growing up and I haven’t been on a school field trip like this for that matter. I am happy that he was able to be apart of this adventure and he has learned a little about survival without his parents there to coddle him. This camping experience was beneficial in so many ways. I feel that he has gained a certain level of appreciation of all that he has at home and how life is in the wild without internet and hot showers.

The rugged wildlife – tracking through a downpour – knee deep in mud. It’s totally frightening to think about my 11 year old out in the wilderness in such situations. I feel that as parents we tend to baby our kids and turn them into incompetent adults as they grown up. They don’t have any experience on survival or other real life matters. This experience was quite an eye opener and very enriching to my son’s future.

I am pretty sure that he will never forget his experiences this week. He was thrown off a horse, twice! Yet he got up and tried again on a different horse, a mustang. He was able to do the horse back riding! I still can’t believe that this is mu child we are talking about. Getting our kids to do things and participate in activities that are out of their comfort zones allows them to see and learn from hands on experience.

I am happy that he’s home safe and sound. He has the weekend to rest his weary and aching muscles. He also have a few blisters on his foot – so I have treated those and we will let him heal this remainder of the week. We don’t have anything exciting planned the next week so it’s going to be pretty low key for him. That way he can recover.

Corona Virus – Stocking Up our Pantry – Part 1

The corona virus is giving us the scare. I went to Sam’s Club a few days ago with the kids after school and I saw a lot of customers piling their flatbed carts with water cases and paper towel rolls. I didn’t give it much thought as I figured water and paper towels must be on sale or something. Everyone has their carts full – I mean really full, reaching over my 5’3” frame. I hope you get the picture.

I found it kind of funny as I was walking out of the store. Now two days fast forward – the news of the corona virus is giving us a bit of a scare. Like many American’s we got on the bandwagon fast and decided we needed to stock up on some essentials. That way we don’t have to be out in public crowds and mass gatherings. This would lessen the exposure to our family in the event that someone around us has the virus.

My husband and I were never into the emergency prepare ahead plan before. We always brushed it off thinking it’s not going to happen to us or we are not close to the incidents. I feel that now with my father-in-law’s passing last year, we became aware of death and how suddenly our lives can change. We kind of became adults and left out fantasy land. I guess losing a parent does that to you.

We went to three different stores. Our first stop was Sam’s Club. We purchased a few bulk items that would be useful such as flour, sugar, brown sugar, cereals, pasta, pasta sauce and water cases just to name a few.

This year I have slowly started to build a stock pile panty. That way I have things on hand when I need them or when we are low on budget and don’t have the funds to go out grocery shopping. I’ve realized that I can go into my stockpile pantry and pull out items to make a meal out of for my family.

My husband and I are also planning on investing in another chest freezer. We currently have one. It is 5.0 cubic feet in size. For our family of 5 we don’t have enough space to stock up frozen food. Our fridge in a two door with upper housing a cold freezer with an ice making capacity and the lower part is the fridge. It is quite small for our family.

Unfortunately this is a standard in our apartment so we just have to work with it. It would be crazy to haul around a few freezers and a stand alone fridge when we move from apartment to apartment. They also they up precious square footage which is why we only have our small chest freezer. It’s compact enough, easily transportable and not an eye sore.

I currently have it in my older son’s bedroom. It is a bit weird but it’s out of the way and don’t distract too much. So we basically need another chest freezer so I can have 1 fridge for meats only and the other for frozen meals and non-meat related items.

Continue Reading to Part 2

Corona Virus – Stocking Up our Pantry – Part 2

Our second store was Patel Brothers which is an ethnic grocery store. We purchased lintels and dry spices. We also picked up some frozen paratha that we could fry up and it would be a warm meal with what ever we have around. Frozen paratha should be a staple in every household.

It can be eaten with savory curries or sweet dishes. My 8 year old loves to have paratha or any type of flat bread or tortillas. So when we run out of flour tortillas and I didn’t have time to make fresh homemade tortillas – I just reach into my freezer and pull out a couple of frozen paratha’s and let them thaw and heat them on a fry pan. This is also very helpful on days when I am super duper busy or tiered and I just don’t have the energy to make anything from scratch.

As my family has grown, my method of ways for having meals ready for my family to eat has also evolved. I tend to find myself looking u ways to freeze meals or prepare meals ahead of time. To make my life a lot easier and make sure my family is fed in a timely manner. We have cut back on eating out significantly. We have come to realize that we were sending an average of $60 dollars eating out as a family and that is just one meal. I would come home and realize that I didn’t cook that day and I don’t have anything prepared for the other two remaining meals.

We started to use this money from dining out to put into buying groceries. It was a difficult transition but everything that we take out of our lives, we do them slowly. One day at a time, we don’t just say we will stop doing something and completely put a halt to it. This mindset always backfires and we would go back to eating out because the other option of cooking and preparing was difficult and time consuming.

Another reason that we slowly took out eating less at restaurants was because of our health. We weren’t feeling great – we slowly started gaining weight. It was a bad habit – it was an easy habit to fall into. We weren’t active other than living our daily lives, doing our daily routines but we didn’t exclusively work out. I’ll be honest we don’t like exercising. This started to show as we gained weight and over all we weren’t feeling good.

We started implementing little lifestyle changes. We started with food. It seemed the most easiest way we could change our lifestyle as a family without leaving anyone feeling hungry. I slowly began incorporating more fruits like bananas into our kids daily meal. At least once a day – the kids must have one fruit of their choosing. My kids like bananas, apples, strawberries, green grapes, oranges, cantaloupes, watermelons, and blueberries. So these few fruits are readily available in out home now depending on which fruit is on sale that week.

Another thing they seem to like are potatoes, cucumbers, baby carrots and corn. I like to keep a stock of potatoes cucumbers and baby carrots whenever possible for easy snacking. These are preessiable items so we have to venture to the super markets to re-stock these things.

Our next stop was at Wal-Mart where we picked up some non food items like batteries, socks, hand sanitizers, bleach, Clorox wipes and similar items. We also picked up a few packets of cookies to add to our stock pile, instant coffee, fizzy drinks and frozen Cornish hens.

Since we have been stock-piling little by little since last year – we didn’t do anything extreme and just picked up essentials. We set out to get a lot of store brand products because we would save some money this way. Buying store brands can also help with those of you who need to start a stock pile for your family and don’t have tons of money to just dish out on the name brand items.

When it comes to feeding our families – the costs add up. We don’t want to ever get to a point where we aren’t able to afford our groceries. I have come close so many times it’s not even funny. I will be honest I am bad a budgeting. I am learning from my mistakes when I only had one child and I had a job. Now I’m a stay at home mother with three little mouths to feed, plus my husband and myself with just one income.

Living frugally was not by choice, it’s just become a lifestyle. We enjoy when we can but try to not suck the fun out of living life either. We still take our kids out to eat but it’s a treat these days. With the scare of the corona virus we are a little nervous.

There was a couple who was on the cruise ship with the virus who were quarantined and now they are released. They live where we live and it’s just kind of scary to think that even though they were cleared and tested negative – that they could still be infected. One woman was released as well when she tested negative but later found that she was actually carrying the virus. These individuals are just walking around our community – possibly eating at the same restaurants or going into the same supermarkets has everyone on edge in our community. Hence why a few day’s ago – the customers with piled high water cases and paper towels started stocking up.

I now understand this and the emergency risks involved. Which is why we are prepping for any emergencies where we don’t need to leave the house under any circumstances. It’s always good to have a game plan when you have kids and a family to think of.

I remember when it was just my husband and I, we never gave these things a thought. We never considered what we would do in an emergency. I hope you all are taking precautionary methods in case of emergencies. Protect them the best way we can and everything we do is because we love them.


Boom! It sounded like something just blew up! I was so jarringly awakened this morning. My eyes just popped open and I just lay there starting at the ceiling with my heart pounding out of my chest and wondering what was that? Waking up so suddenly from deep sleep, that is just not so fun.

My husband was like what was that? It sounded like thunder. I relaxed just a bit and my eyes drift back to sleep when my 5am alarm starts going off annoyingly and every 15 minutes after that. Today is so not going well. It was 15 minutes until 6am and I was tempted to not send my son to school today.

I just didn’t want to deal with the rainy day and waking my son up and sending him to school in this rain. My husband – always the supporter – coaxed me into getting out of bed and getting our son ready for school.

It wasn’t as bad as I thought – My husband held my sons hand and walked him out the door – together into the pouring rain. My son was hesitating but his Dad was telling him that he could do it. Cheering our son along.

I didn’t write the last couple of days, I know I said I would every morning but I lied. I am still trying to get over this mess of losing my voice. I still sound like a frog. I need my voice back. I have just been trying to get some cleaning done around the house. I feel exhausted from doing too much work so I have to take it a little easy. Little by little I got a lot of chores done.

I try not to let things pile up for too long but when I’m not feeling good – I just let the chore sit until I get my sudden burst of energy and motivation to tackle the unfinished projects. Yesterday I pushed myself a bit and was a little light headed. I almost fell asleep on the living room couch before putting my kids to bed at 7pm.

I went out and cleaned up our patio. I swept the patio, rearranged the planters and planted some marigolds and zinnia seeds into the overhang baskets. I also threw in some radish seeds. This year my patio garden is a bit lagging. The weather has been dreary and cold. I am not getting much sunlight in my patio so it’s always in the shade this year. I don’t want to waste precious seeds by planting too early this year I made that mistake last year and I lost a lot of plants because they wouldn’t germinate.

I hope you all have a great day!


Erad he has been complaining about his ears this morning. He kept snorting his nose before leaving the house this morning. I’m thinking that he has mucus in his nose and he’s just super stuffy.

It was actually his ears! They are clogged up with earwax and I tried cleaning his ears but he wasnt having it this morning. Especially right before going to school – he was about to have a meltdown!

I was trying to help him clean his ears but he wasnt having that. He wanted to do it himself. He was trying to clean his ears with Q tips. The Q tips were just pushing the ear wax further into his ears. I was able to tilt his head and look inside his ears. I saw the big dry piece of ear wax quite deep in his ears.

I remember that last year he was complaining that his ears hurt and we thought that it was an ear infection. We took him to the pedestrian and they looked in his ears. They said he had some build up and recommend I get an ear wax removal drop. So I had that in my arsenal of a medicine kit. I put a few drops in this morning before he went off to school. We had to sort of pacify him because he was on the verge of a meltdown.

I was praying for him to have a good day at school today and without any incidents. While my husband took the boys to school, I hit up Dr. YouTube. I watched a few videos on how to remove ear wax at home. Wow & Ewww!

I was blown away by the number of videos on ear wax removal. People actually make videos on removing ear wax! Not complaining since I am searching for that very thing. Very informative although it was a bit gross to watch on one cup of coffee.

I soon gained knowledge that I would need some specific tools to do this ear wax removal treatment at home. There seemed to be many ways of extracting the ear wax. I found the most safes was to use the hydrogen peroxide to make the ear wax gummy. Then I would get my special tools which I ordered on my friend Amazon.

I have to wait 1 day with my Prime delivery but we will do this tomorrow. As I’ve pretty much got myself a PH.D on ear wax removal and will soon have the tools to preform the surgery.. I’m a bit anxious. I hope he will let me treat his ears.

He will have to have to be very still and I will need to be efficient in this extraction. I have it all planned out. I plan to keeping him happy all day and in a playful mood.

I hope I am able to remove the ear wax that way my son can feel some relief. I feel like he is having a lot of sinus issues due to the ear wax build up in his ears.


I wanted to hop on very quickly today and let everyone know that I was able to successfully remove the ear wax from my 8 year old’s ears. He had some ear wax that was pushed in deeper within his ears. I was always taught to use Q Tips to clean our ears and that’s exactly what I’ve been passing down to my children. Until recently I noticed that my 8 year old was expressing that he couldn’t hear. He would run to the bathroom to get himself a Q Tip and try to clean out his ears. He seemed frustrated and moody because his ears were clogged and he couldn’t express his feelings to me. When I tried approaching him- he didn’t want my help and I backed off just letting him be – he was already worked up and I didn’t want to escalate the issue. This went on for a few years! I am ashamed to admit.

Since he was 2 to 3 years old – he would tune us out. I didn’t understand at that time that one of the signs of an autistic child would be that he would be living in his own head. He wouldn’t hear us when we would try to get his attention. He didn’t respond like a typical child would. He didn’t make eye contact or turn his head to acknowledge that he heard us.

When he was about 6-7 years old he would get sick constantly. He would always get cold sores and his nose would bleed. His nose bleeds have been quite sever at times. The blood flow would not stop. I would just have him get in the bathtub and run the shower because just applying pressure with a few tissue papers weren’t cutting it.

He would also get upset and frustrated that his nose bleeding wasn’t stopping and crying and screaming would put more pressure on his nose. He was a trooper though. We had our battles and some days we were able to easily get through with stopping the nose from bleeding so much.

Whenever he would have the sever nose bleeding, I knew that he would get a throat infection because he swallowed some blood. He was always snorting his nose up. I always thought his nose was stuffy which most days they were. He would cover his ears or rub on the outer shells of his ears like there was this ringing inside of his ears. That’s what I thought but in actuality his ears were full off wax which was deep down inside his ear canal. This was what was bothering him all this time!

He was never able to tell me. I did have a little suspicion and took him to get his ears checked when we went in to visit his pediatrics. I figured it might be an ear infection causing him to get sinus issues and rubbing his nose sets off the nose bleeding also. The pediatric would always tell me that his ears were okay when they took a look inside of his ears with their instruments. We went home thinking since the doctors said his ears don’t have an infection and his ears looked good – nothing to be worried about. We weren’t any wiser. My son continued to touch his ears and rub on them from time to time. It never came to my mind that there could be another reason for his irritation.

This year I finally decided I needed to do something and I really hate myself for not thinking about doing this before. Honestly I was scared to preform any type of home remedies because I didn’t want to hurt my baby boy. I was just kind of exhausted to see him in such discomfort. Every time he is snorting his nose up his hands are furiously rubbing his ears as if he’s trying to get something out. I noticed this action a lot the last few days and I finally decided I had to figure out what is bothering his ears.

At first glance you can’t see anything in his ears – they looked clean, which was why I never thought there was more to this then meets the eye. I went on YouTube and looked up how to clear ear wax on children on a hunch. It was one of those mommy sixth sense moments. I was quite amazed at how many videos were available with parents using different techniques to clean out the ears of their kids.

I was a bit nervous as this was totally something very sensitive – any wrong move could possibly damage my child’s hearing. I watched countless videos of parents cleaning out their child’s ears and I finally worked up the courage to order a cleaning kit from amazon. I waited to get the delivery 2 days. I waited until it was Saturday and my child was in a good mood. We made it into a game. I had him lie down on his bed with his head on a pillow. I got a little rubber dropper that we use to clean an infants nose. Mine was new and I sanitized it in boiling water.

I sucked up some hydrogen peroxide into the rubber dropper and squeezed in a few drops into this ears while trying to keep him calm. I was talking to him the whole time. I was telling him to just lie very still, I will go super slow, I am not going to hurt him. My kit came with a pen light. I had my 11 year old son hold the pen light while I used my left hand to hold his head and use my fingers to hold his ears taunt. I took a look inside – straight into the ear canal. I was shocked to see the hard lump of wax deep down his ears just blocking his ear. My poor baby. I felt like a horrible parent – that I didn’t look into this sooner.

After I put in the hydrogen peroxide the wax became slightly soft. I used the metal scope to gently pry out the wax. My son was quite tense, which is understandable. He has an unfamiliar object poking around in his ears and its a natural reaction to shoo the irritation away.

It took us a few tries and he did cry a little but I was telling him to take deep breaths and just to relax and not to tense up. He was quite tense and his shoulders were bunched up and very stiff. I took a little wax out at a time and showed it to him. I showed him the wax I took out of his ears – I explained to him to let me take it out the yucky wax from inside his ears – he would feel so much better. We continued with this back and forth for about 30 minutes – I was always mindful to be as gentle as possible and not to poke deeper that necessary. At one time he did cry out loudly and I was about to have a heart attack because I thought I hurt his ears drums. I could swear I was barely holding myself together since I was as nervous as he was.

I gave the kid a hug and wiped his tears and we went back to it – a bit more hydrogen peroxide and I scrape out a bit more wax. I did this for both his ears. When we were done I showed him the wax that I took out of his ears. He was excited to see them – I know its a bit gross but hey what ever method works to appease and calm my child I will do it. Even if it means to do a full google analysis of ear wax with him.

After I removed the wax I shined the pen light back in to check if there was any more wax inside. There were just a little more inside the walls of his ears but it was so much better than before. I didn’t scrape everything out because I wanted to let my son relax because he was already been through the difficult parts. We can give it a shot another day to clean out the remainder bits of wax. I shined the pen light back into both his ears and saw the difference, his ear canals were visibly clearer.

After I’ve cleaned the kit up and sanitized all the tools. I asked my son how he was feeling? I kept asking throughout the evening if his ears hurt and can he hear better now?

Oh how I wish I had discovered that I could do this ear cleaning method at home years before. My child has been suffering all this time from clogged ears. He wasn’t able to tell me what was bothering him and I didn’t understand where he was hurting. I always figured something is just bothering him and making his moody, angry and upset. He was in those moods again and he would cry or yell and have a tantrum. I just figured it was part of the autistic behavior.

I kept a close eye on him without being too obvious – I’m an over protective mother hen. I don’t know how I became like this but oh well, I guess it’s good. I kept on asking gently here and there without sounding like a parrot – which I normally am with him – repeating constantly – he said he could hear – his ears weren’t hurting – he was feeling fine – YES MOM! WHAT? WHAT DID YOU SAY?! — okay .. I got it .. Mommy can take a hint when his voice is rising! He can hear better now. I am just making sure I didn’t do any damage with my little doctor experiment. A mom can’t be too sure. Ya feel me!

The last two days he’s been doing amazingly. He was more playful and very talkative and he seemed like a totally different little boy. He was calmer and he wasn’t running to the bathroom for a Q Tip or ferociously rubbing his ears.

I sent him to school today – I hope he has a good day today.


This morning I could barely make it out of bed. My head is throbbing and my throat just died on me. I’m guzzling hot liquids to no avail, just some temporary relief. I took an allergy medicine last night before hitting the sack and right around 1:30am – my darling 3 year old is calling from her room to come lay down with her.

I’ve got laser ears when I sleep when it comes to hearing my kids by the way. To the rest of the world I sleep like the dead. So I groggily stumble my way to her room – halfway there I realize I need a blanket. I go back and get my blanket since it’s freezing overnight. Maybe I just feel this way because I’m a reptile and always cold no matter the weather.

I have weird body temperature up and down moments. When it’s sunny and hot out I’m cold – When it’s cold out I’m still cold. Never the happy camper! I should muster up the energy and take myself off to go see a doctor today but the thought of just doing that takes too much energy.

I did the majority of lunch and dinner prep last night after the kids were fed and homework done. I had a few hours of free time so I utilized that to prepare for today. Since I realized that I would be feeling worse in the morning anyway. I feel less stressed this morning since I don’t have to go slave away in the kitchen today.

I have that dreaded meeting with the teachers today. I don’t know why I get so worked up right before a certain event. I make myself stressed out sometimes. Do any one of you do that?

I figured since the kids are off to school this morning I would sit and hatch out boring life out on here while I still have the energy. I’m going to go lie down after I’m writing this. My dry raspy and bruised throat can’t take much more coughing. It’s giving me a headache. I really should go to the doctors today and get this checked out and make sure it’s nothing serious. Hopefully it’s just a common allergy and minor cold that accompanied with being that time of the month of us females. Yea I got it bad.

I noticed that if I put of writing until the end of the day – I don’t get it done – I’m exhausted and can’t get my brain to work up the necessary words to start writing. I am beginning to skip days and that is a bad habit. So I figured a new strategy was needed. I am now going to write in the mornings while I am still high on my first up of coffee and my mind is rationally working.

Did I say I needed to go lay down and rest – I will be going to meeting my kids teachers after school and then go back again for open house. The joys of motherhood – no time to be call in sick.

Have a Great Day!


I was perfectly fine 2 days ago but something got into my throat while I went to pick up the kids from school. It’s been irritating my throat all day yesterday. This morning my throat is dry as sandpaper. I’m having difficulty swallowing. I know what’s coming. The dry coughs lead only to one thing.

I am going to sound like a frog the next few days or a couple of weeks. I love spring, summer and autumn for that matter. I’m not a winter person – as I get older my bones can’t handle the cold. I sound older than I am. Ha!

As I was saying I love those three seasons but they all bring along with them some seasonal allergies. I haven’t gotten sick all winter but as soon as the pollens start up and I step outside – I catch something in the air right inside my throat.

It’s this speck thats so irritating and it’s just stuck right there in the middle of my throat. I can’t cough it out and it’s scratchy. I am starting to sound like my little kids – that’s exactly how I am feeling right now.

What do you all do with allergies? I took an Allegra but I don’t think it did any good other than my nose dried up.

I am giving this pain in my throat 2 days .. that’s it .. I will throw down the gloves and we are going to take it outside. I have a parent teacher meeting Thursday. I need to be able to talk about some serious parent teacher stuff. So bring it on allergies – You have 2 days to get out of my life.


Due to some recent incidents at school – I have been thinking about trying out homeschooling for my 8 year old.

Recently the teachers have been complaining that my son’s behavior has been a little off lately. He’s been pacing in the classroom, he doesn’t want to do his class work and he’s running out of the classrooms.

I speak to him every day after school and I ask him what is triggering has behavior. What’s happened today at school? How was your day at school. I ask him different questions just to get him to open up to me and express himself.

He has been saying that he does not like school anymore and my son loves learning he loves school so him saying that he doesn’t love school send up red flags.

From what I have been able to gather he has been saying that he is stressed out at school. He feels stressed because he is saying that the teachers are giving him too much work to do. I understand that for an 8 year old and especially someone who is dealing with autism on a daily basis – being in a time constraint can feel overwhelming.

He’s having trouble trying to keep up with the normal kids. He’s in a normal gen-ed classroom and I feel like the social pressure is kind of bothering him. The normal kids are super talkative and fast and he doesn’t talk fast. He most likely feels left behind in conversations. He isn’t one yo strike up a conversation and always stands back from the crowd.

He feels this insecurity about himself in his mind. He has been recently saying for us to not look at him and I think that stems from his interactions with the kids in the classroom. I feel like the kids are looking at him or saying things to him and hes having trouble expressing that he doesn’t want to be looked at. He doesn’t want to be judged by other’s and he know’s deeply that it’s challenging that others see him as not normal.

My son has a difficult time expressing his feelings and most likely in his mind he feels the pressure of his classmates. The only way to relieve his anxiety and stress is to yell NO or get up and run out of the classroom.

I have a meeting with the teachers tomorrow and I’m kind of dreading what they will say. I honestly dont see these drastic behaviors when he’s at home. I get this feeling that he feels like the pressure eases off his shoulders and the burden he’s carrying in his head when he’s in his own environment. His comfort zone. He thrives at home.

Bringing me to the topic of homeschooling. His Dad and I spoke and we were thinking of doing homeschooling going forward.

His Dad was mainly concerned that he’s not going to learn any social skills if he’s at home. He’ll be completely sheltered and he won’t have any of the experiences that he’s having in school right now. The interactions with all of the different types of people and their different behaviors towards him. He needs that real life experience .

I worry for him while he’s in school. My husband and I kind of agreed on letting our son have these experiences. These experiences will make him a bit tougher as he gets older. It seems like such a horrible way to expose our child to realities of life and the types of people he will come into contact with as he grows up and how he should handle them and himself.

We have to look at this from a different angle. These experiences, although they are overwhelming and they tap into a side of him that makes him feel insecure – this exposure will give him a chance to figure out how to overcome these insecurities.

We are here with him now to hold his hand and guide him with positive reinforcements and praises. He doesn’t react kindly to negative comments or being looked at like he’s strange. That’s when he gets stressed and his anxiety builds. He begins pacing, running away and sometimes physically aggressive and angry.

We are working on taking deep breaths when he feels angry or frustrated. Exposure with typical children is a form of training for him. That way he’s not just cooped up in his head.

We want him to feel comfortable and confident in himself. As he is growing up we want him to be able to do normal daily routines without becoming stressed.

He will be entering middle school soon, high school soon to follow. He will be facing a lot of different characters when he goes into those different environments. As a mom I really just want to keep him sheltered because I know the type of individual he is. I also understand that I need to let him experience real life that’s out there let him start making those right choices on his own.

It is quite imperative that we teach him these things. The behavioral issues we deal with now are taken kindly because he’s just a child now. The real challenges will come as he goes into middle and high school. That just scares us because we are not sure how he will cope but we want to give him enough tools under his belt to make sure he makes the right decisions. We dont want him getting into trouble because he is misunderstood.

This article is probably crazy long but as parents we want to do everything to help prepare our baby boy. We want to expose him to life as much as possible. We’ll know tomorrow what the teacher’s want to discuss.


The last few weeks and days the weather in Dallas, TX has been wacky to say the least. We are experiencing severe changes in the weather. Not just recently we experienced four different types of weather in one single day.

That day started out with tornado sirens blasting in the neighborhood all morning and the skies were black. We experienced heavy winds, then snow by 3 pm and back to clear sunny skies by 6pm. A normal person would not be able to understand what they just experienced.

One thing that I noticed in my 8 year old is that he is quite sensitive to different textures and feelings. I went to pick him up from school one evening just a few weeks ago and it was raining. I never noticed before how the rain was an issue with him.

It’s not the concept of rain but the issue that the rain makes him wet. His jacket became wet and his backpack became wet. He stepped in puddles and his sneakers were wet and his socks became wet also.

This is something new that we are experiencing. I know from past experiences that my son was sensitive to eye contact, taste of different textures in his mouth, and quite sensitive to sounds. He still shows these signs but not as prominent as when he was a toddler. These signs appear when he is agitated and he’s having a rough day.

Each child is different – the way they behave or express themselves are totally unique to each individual. There isn’t one person alive who is autistic and the same.

I hope you all are having a good day and enjoying these little articles of mine. I know they aren’t anything amazing. I’m just a mommy trying to find an outlet to express my experiences with my autistic child. I sit here after the children are asleep and take a deep breath and begin to write something about my day and what I’m dealing with.

If anyone has any recommendations or tips for me – please feel free to share your thoughts. Every little piece of advice is beneficial.


Today has been super duper busy. I wasnt even sure if I could muster up the energy to write a few sentences tonight.

My bones are aching. My nerves are shot. My shoulders are aching from stress and running around all day long. I havent brushed my hair all day long or washed my face.

Our morning started off good. My boys eat their breakfast and my 8 year old was in a good mood. These kinds of mornings I am happy.

After the boys left I sat down to do some work on the computer while the chicken defrosted in the sink. I always have to think a few hours ahead.

Afterschool lunch had to be prepared before the boys came home. I went to pick them up from school and boy was Lady weather not feeling it today. The weather went from sunny 70’s to low 40’s in the span of a day – no few hours ..

It started raining and Erad, my 8 year old was not having it. He didnt like his jacket or shoes getting wet from the rain. Hm. How do I avoid a situation that I can see will escalate within a few minutes?

I told him to wait in the car while I ran home and got an umbrella.. I go back outside and become the mother duck – tucking by boy under the umbrella as I maneuvered to get him into the house without getting wet. Well he still got wet because he ran from under the umbrella.

The whole situation was unavoidable.. I knew it was coming. He was going to have one of his moments. I just let him kick his shoes off and drop his coat on the floor. I’ll circle back later to put the shoes and coat away after he calms down a bit.

I gave the kiddos their lunch and continued my preparation for dinner. I was feeling exhausted by 7pm. My baby girl is a ball full of energy. She has been bouncing around from sofa to floor.

A mothers intuition is never wrong because I kept telling her not to jump or climb up on furniture. A few seconds later she jumps again and falls face first .. no .. nose first on the arms on the sofa.

I shut off the vacuum and hurry over to her as I see her nose dribbling blood. Just GREAT. I carry her to the bathroom and rinse her nose with cold water. Her nose began swelling up. I am hoping that tomorrow the swelling goes down.

I get her calmed down. Then I’m finishing up my vacuuming – get all the dishes wash and dried and put away. By 8pm my body is sending out alarm bells. I’ve been pushing myself too much today. I still had to get my son to do his writing homework.

Oh boy, I was dreading it. I was debating with myself if I should just deal with getting my son to work on his writing homework in the morning before school. I talked myself out of it. I’m not risking it. So I coaxed and joked my way into getting him to finish his writing homework. Yay success!

Now it’s 10pm and I’ve got my children fed, washed and tucked into bed.

Did I mention that my body was begging me to let her rest. The relief that comes after washing my face and brushing my hair is so nice. Feeling peaceful and I’ve accomplished a lot today…

Update: I just realized I fell asleep last night – which is why this is article is posted this morning. =)

Love – the Exhausted Mommy


As a parent of an autistic child, I have fears hence the title of this article. I fear for his future when his father or I am not around. Last night I was having a deep conversation with my husband and we both kind of avoided talking about our fears for a very long time.

I feel that this is something of a sore subject for both of us. We are still pretty new to understanding autism. We are still raw when it comes to our child and how he is behaving.

I will go ahead and say it – Why was my child born this way? When I have too much time on my hands, I begin to think. My thoughts go down a dark and scary road. I begin to wonder what it is that I have done wrong. I begin to question myself and the choices I’ve made in the past.

My husband and I finally spoke after 8 years about our child. It’s difficult as parents to voice what we are feeling because we are afraid of what the outcomes will be. What will happen to him when we aren’t alive any longer? How will he make it on his own? Will he be understood? Can he voice his concerns to others? Will others have patience with him in this insanely inpatient and rapid paced world?

These are just some of the millions of questions running thought my mind. As his parents are we doing everything we can to ready him and let him run loose into the world. I know he is only 8 years old now and these questions might seem like we are a bit insane to think this way.

Raising a child of the spectrum wasn’t something we were prepared for. I don’t think any parents prepare themselves for this. I know like us there are thousands of parents who are confused and don’t understand their child.

For the first 5 years of his life, we didn’t know how to communicate with our son. He would act out because he couldn’t express his thoughts and feelings. We would get frustrated because we thought our child was intentionally acting out and misbehaving. We were at our whits end. Some days – which were rare days – he would be mellow and we were happy on those rare days. Those rare days we didn’t have an incident involving him were beautiful but short lived.

Other days – which was most days – we were always on our toes. Our hearts were always a second away from popping out of our chests. Our child wasn’t aware of dangerous situations. He wasn’t aware that by running off into the street was putting himself in serious danger. He thought it was funny that his parents are chasing him and playing with him. This was just one incident.

Everyday it was something thrilling and heart stopping. I remember one day I was in the kitchen cooking and he was just a 3 year old toddler at that time. He was able to walk and climb. He was in our room and he climbed on the dresser drawers. He loved to climb anything and everything. He wasn’t afraid. He was standing on the lowest drawer and began rocking the dresser.

The dresser gave way and fell forward. I heard this loud crash – BOOM! My heart jumped into another galaxy. I ran into the bedroom and my eyes were seeing the dresser tipped over and it was at a 45 degree angle. The footboard from our bed was holding the dresser up. My brain wasn’t registering what I was witnessing.

My overshot and over active imagination did a number on my sanity and fragile heart! I was expecting my beautiful baby boy crushed under this heavy piece of wooden furniture. I was hyperventilating at this point. But…

Here comes my 3 year old baby boy crawling out from between the tilted dresser and footboard – unscathed. No fear, care or awareness in the world of the monumental danger he was in. He just calmly crawled out and walked over to where his toy cars were. He just sat down and began to play with them by lining up the toy cars.

I’m still processing the heart stopping sight before my eyes! If you don’t believe in a higher power then this would make you believe that God was with him. Protecting my innocent child and Angels were watching over him! It could have been such a disaster that I couldn’t begin to imagine. It was every parents worst nightmare when it comes to their toddlers.

Now our child is 8 years old – we have gone to parent trainings and we have been educated about our child. He isn’t a typical 8 year old. He is nuro-typical. We never even knew what this was before my child. Our eldest child was typical.

It’s not a disease so don’t freak out! We didn’t know either and we were stunned speechless as well. Our child within minutes was a special needs child. It was explained to us that our sons ability to learn and process everything was different.

There were different ways – by using different tools and techniques in which we could help him and communicate with him. It was going to take some dedication at home and also the dedication of individuals at his school to help nurture and grow him.

We enrolled into a program through the school district which helped children like our son. There were speech pathologists, behavioral specialists, autism specialists and many other individuals who committed each day into helping our child.

I will be forever grateful to these individuals. I cannot even begin to explain how this mothers heart aches in gratitude.

Since he turned 5 years old we had him start pre-kindergarten with these services. Now he’s 8 years old and get behavioral help. We have seen a tremendous improvement in him but he still have so much to understand. He is more social but he still has many lacking’s. He doesn’t like being the center of attention because he feels he’s not doing something right or he would get reprimanded.

We are trying to make him understand that he is such a brilliant bright little boy with so much knowledge. People should hear his voice and the workings of his beautiful mind. Bringing him out of this wall he has built around him will take some time.

We know that it’s normal to feel afraid especially when it comes to our children. We want what is best for them. We work day and night to make their lives beautiful. We guide them to become successful individuals. There is always a fear in our heart when it comes to our child’s future.

Keep in mind that I am not a doctor and I cannot give you any advice on how to do anything for your child. Please consult your doctor or an expert. All the opinions expressed in this particular article are my own experiences with my own child.

I will be express everything we are continuing to face with him. Each child is different and each child’s diagnosis is different. So don’t ever take one child’s outcomes – their progression or regressions on the spectrum and compare it to your own child.