Due to some recent incidents at school – I have been thinking about trying out homeschooling for my 8 year old.
Recently the teachers have been complaining that my son’s behavior has been a little off lately. He’s been pacing in the classroom, he doesn’t want to do his class work and he’s running out of the classrooms.
I speak to him every day after school and I ask him what is triggering has behavior. What’s happened today at school? How was your day at school. I ask him different questions just to get him to open up to me and express himself.
He has been saying that he does not like school anymore and my son loves learning he loves school so him saying that he doesn’t love school send up red flags.
From what I have been able to gather he has been saying that he is stressed out at school. He feels stressed because he is saying that the teachers are giving him too much work to do. I understand that for an 8 year old and especially someone who is dealing with autism on a daily basis – being in a time constraint can feel overwhelming.
He’s having trouble trying to keep up with the normal kids. He’s in a normal gen-ed classroom and I feel like the social pressure is kind of bothering him. The normal kids are super talkative and fast and he doesn’t talk fast. He most likely feels left behind in conversations. He isn’t one yo strike up a conversation and always stands back from the crowd.
He feels this insecurity about himself in his mind. He has been recently saying for us to not look at him and I think that stems from his interactions with the kids in the classroom. I feel like the kids are looking at him or saying things to him and hes having trouble expressing that he doesn’t want to be looked at. He doesn’t want to be judged by other’s and he know’s deeply that it’s challenging that others see him as not normal.
My son has a difficult time expressing his feelings and most likely in his mind he feels the pressure of his classmates. The only way to relieve his anxiety and stress is to yell NO or get up and run out of the classroom.
I have a meeting with the teachers tomorrow and I’m kind of dreading what they will say. I honestly dont see these drastic behaviors when he’s at home. I get this feeling that he feels like the pressure eases off his shoulders and the burden he’s carrying in his head when he’s in his own environment. His comfort zone. He thrives at home.
Bringing me to the topic of homeschooling. His Dad and I spoke and we were thinking of doing homeschooling going forward.
His Dad was mainly concerned that he’s not going to learn any social skills if he’s at home. He’ll be completely sheltered and he won’t have any of the experiences that he’s having in school right now. The interactions with all of the different types of people and their different behaviors towards him. He needs that real life experience .
I worry for him while he’s in school. My husband and I kind of agreed on letting our son have these experiences. These experiences will make him a bit tougher as he gets older. It seems like such a horrible way to expose our child to realities of life and the types of people he will come into contact with as he grows up and how he should handle them and himself.
We have to look at this from a different angle. These experiences, although they are overwhelming and they tap into a side of him that makes him feel insecure – this exposure will give him a chance to figure out how to overcome these insecurities.
We are here with him now to hold his hand and guide him with positive reinforcements and praises. He doesn’t react kindly to negative comments or being looked at like he’s strange. That’s when he gets stressed and his anxiety builds. He begins pacing, running away and sometimes physically aggressive and angry.
We are working on taking deep breaths when he feels angry or frustrated. Exposure with typical children is a form of training for him. That way he’s not just cooped up in his head.
We want him to feel comfortable and confident in himself. As he is growing up we want him to be able to do normal daily routines without becoming stressed.
He will be entering middle school soon, high school soon to follow. He will be facing a lot of different characters when he goes into those different environments. As a mom I really just want to keep him sheltered because I know the type of individual he is. I also understand that I need to let him experience real life that’s out there let him start making those right choices on his own.
It is quite imperative that we teach him these things. The behavioral issues we deal with now are taken kindly because he’s just a child now. The real challenges will come as he goes into middle and high school. That just scares us because we are not sure how he will cope but we want to give him enough tools under his belt to make sure he makes the right decisions. We dont want him getting into trouble because he is misunderstood.
This article is probably crazy long but as parents we want to do everything to help prepare our baby boy. We want to expose him to life as much as possible. We’ll know tomorrow what the teacher’s want to discuss.